Next In Show: Situation

Jan 12, 2012

JERSEY SHORE 'BYE BYE VINNY' [Video] [Review]

1/12/2012 08:08:00 PM Unknown No comments

Woooooo JersDay muhfuhssss. Nice. Already there's a Situation, may day may day. Did Mike just offer Jionni boxers and a t-shirt? Did Jionni just offer to cook Mike late night snack? Yep. Bad idea Jionni, as it turns out your girlfriend Snooki might get mad at you for patty caking with the estranged "affair". To late, there she goes' there you go and now here comes The Sitch to give you breakfast in bed. Now we know it was good. What a lame.

So there's the opening scenes of Jersey Shore today and I'll say there's no mercy on Mikes behalf, he's an animal. This episode brought drama to the shack when Pauly D found his favorite gold chain was stolen by the two timer he brought home from the club. It's right on camera too and the chick has the balls to go sit downstairs and wait for the cab to leave, a la no shoes. Don't worry Pauly lovers it was just a plan so she could come back later in the day for a hopeful post smush, epic fail. Vinny is in the slums, not really himself so Ronnie is playing babysitter. I "think" he's planning on leaving the show. Stay Vinny because what else are you going to do? Invite us to the crib we'll chill. UNFORTUNATELY, Vinny left everyone. VINNY LEFT THE SHOW. For now?

The Situation is relentless. After a night out at the bar Jionni insists on asking Mike for clothes and then cooks him breakfast, almost. After Jionni runs upstairs after a mad Snooki, Mike takes breakfast up to the room. What an instigator.

Damn Snooki, looks like you'll never tell the truth. Being in denial has never looked so bad. You missed another night of her getting drunk and falling out however it seems as though the money is more important to Jionni to care much now. As expected.

Ronnieeee... He's the man, everything that I think, Ronnie says. I know I said that last week but he is. Makes the meanest drinks, says the funniest but most truthful things and knows how to have fun. To make sure his fun won't be ruined Ronnie has taken on the role of Mr. Make Vinny Feel Better.

This time around was Deena's time to shine. Unfortunately for her it was a light she had already 'turned on' before. After a night of clubbing Dmama left with an old school fling to reignite the old burner.

Toughen up Vin-Man. Why so serious? What Guido would complain over not being home when you are doing anything you want. So as of now Vinny has left the show. Not sure if it's for good but he's definitely gone. I'm not sure if it was a cool way to leave though while everyone had just left for the club. It's cliche that Pauly D be the last and only one to see Vinny before he said goodbye. He's the realest.

JWOWW was almost invisible this episode. She asked Vinny where he was going in the club and that's about it. Doesn't seem like JWOWW feels obligated to babysit Snooki anymore now that Jionni wears the apron.

Face-Off Pt. 2 starring Pauly D. To much tanning and your face starts to peel away, ask this guy. Pauly is the man he'll bounce back. So some chick he brought home from Karma took his chain but then she brought it back to try and get a second smash in, fail.

Sammi girl you're doing good, you're doing good. Just don't have any relapses and Snooki should take the title home two years in a row. The title of Drama Queen delusional liar. Hey, we're only human. TWO WEEKS IN A ROW AND COUNTING.

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Jan 6, 2012

'Jersey Shore' Starts With A Jersey Bore [FULL EPISODE] [VIDEO]

1/06/2012 07:46:00 AM Unknown No comments

What the ef???

What the hell happened? (Will Farrell voice) I was so excited to see the new episode of Jersey Shore last night that I literally made my own pasta so that I could get the full authentic Italian vibe. Heh. But to my dismay what they showed was the remainder of last season in Florence. Come on man. I thought the Situation and Snooki drama by this time was done, but I remember this is immediately post Florence. I guess this is why the cast was hosting the first episode instead of giving us new problems from new situations. Well unfortunately that ain't the case in this situation. Apart from the body of JWOWW being even more amazing and Sammi introducing her new personality of boring-er I really see nothing to fist pump about yet. Here's how I see it...

I can already see the MTV persuasion of The Situation to start shit with Snooki. This is why I love MTV. They know how to make the show worth watching.

The Situation is already on the prowl for Snooki and her blood. The guy is relentless to give up the fact he slept with her. Not sure if you know Mike but, WE KNOW. I'm not mad though you at least made the first episode worth watching. Keeping us on our toes to see if the 'ingredients to the bomb' would spill the beans to Jionni

Ok Snooki, time to stop being fake, or stop being yourself. Sorry that just makes sense to me. Snooki I see your career immediately over after the show is done. No exercise videos, no liquors, just a lot of stupid stuff stupid people buy. Please do something aside from lie this season, go back to getting drunk and having fun, don't let Jionni change you from being all you can be.

Ronnieeee... He's the man, everything that I think, Ronnie says. Now that he's not uber asshole he's the commentator of truth. Michael Buffer couldn't be more clear when he states the imminent. Thanks Ronnie for not being lame anymore. If you were single you'd be even more cool too. Just a thought.

Deena oh Deena where art thou? I barely noticed Deena this episode except for the camera pans showing her disgustingly jealous face. Sorry Deena, yes Ryder is a loose goose but she's also hotter. If I were the producers I would have had the cameras on the hotter girls too, that what kept a majority of the men tentative last night. JWOWW yes, Sammi yes, Ryder yes but you NO. I'm just sorry, so wipe the sour face away and start drinking dammit.

Veni, vidi, vici. Psyche. Not even, this guy Vinny hasn't conquered anything yet if he can't be away from home without sapping up. I don't get it, when does a grown man become accustomed to living on their own. A trip to Italy and tons of cash would make me happy to know I can at least visit home when I want to. Sadly, that's not my case but Vinny guy you gotta grow a pair. Come on, man up son.

JWOWW, all I want to say is I'm sorry I can't be guido, but I still love ya. Whew. Just keep on being JWOWW.

Pauly D got laid last night by the loose goose. At least he had a nice line for it though. Definitely not worth repeating because I just wouldn't live by it haha. If my boys hit it, at least 2 of them well then I won't be dipping my finger in that frosting jar. Pauly D is the funniest cast member and I'm quite sure he'll manage.