What the ef???
What the hell happened? (Will Farrell voice) I was so excited to see the new episode of
Jersey Shore last night that I literally made my own pasta so that I could get the full authentic
Italian vibe. Heh. But to my dismay what they showed was the remainder of last season in Florence. Come on man. I thought the
Situation and
Snooki drama by this time was done, but I remember this is immediately post Florence. I guess this is why the cast was hosting the first episode instead of giving us new problems from new situations. Well unfortunately that ain't the case in this situation. Apart from the body of
JWOWW being even more amazing and
Sammi introducing her new personality of boring-er I really see nothing to fist pump about yet. Here's how I see it...
I can already see the MTV persuasion of
The Situation to start shit with
Snooki. This is why I love MTV. They know how to make the show worth watching.
The Situation is already on the prowl for Snooki and her blood. The guy is relentless to give up the fact he slept with her. Not sure if you know Mike but, WE KNOW. I'm not mad though you at least made the first episode worth watching. Keeping us on our toes to see if the 'ingredients to the bomb' would spill the beans to Jionni
Ok Snooki, time to stop being fake, or stop being yourself. Sorry that just makes sense to me. Snooki I see your career immediately over after the show is done. No exercise videos, no liquors, just a lot of stupid stuff stupid people buy. Please do something aside from lie this season, go back to getting drunk and having fun, don't let Jionni change you from being all you can be.
Ronnieeee... He's the man, everything that I think,
Ronnie says. Now that he's not uber asshole he's the commentator of truth. Michael Buffer couldn't be more clear when he states the imminent. Thanks Ronnie for not being lame anymore. If you were single you'd be even more cool too. Just a thought.
Deena oh Deena where art thou? I barely noticed Deena this episode except for the camera pans showing her disgustingly jealous face. Sorry Deena, yes Ryder is a loose goose but she's also hotter. If I were the producers I would have had the cameras on the hotter girls too, that what kept a majority of the men tentative last night. JWOWW yes, Sammi yes, Ryder yes but you NO. I'm just sorry, so wipe the sour face away and start drinking dammit.
Veni, vidi, vici. Psyche. Not even, this guy
Vinny hasn't conquered anything yet if he can't be away from home without sapping up. I don't get it, when does a grown man become accustomed to living on their own. A trip to Italy and tons of cash would make me happy to know I can at least visit home when I want to. Sadly, that's not my case but Vinny guy you gotta grow a pair. Come on, man up son.
JWOWW, all I want to say is I'm sorry I can't be guido, but I still love ya. Whew. Just keep on being JWOWW.
Pauly D got laid last night by the loose goose. At least he had a nice line for it though. Definitely not worth repeating because I just wouldn't live by it haha. If my boys hit it, at least 2 of them well then I won't be dipping my finger in that frosting jar. Pauly D is the funniest cast member and I'm quite sure he'll manage.
Sammi girl you're doing good, you're doing good. Just don't have any relapses and Snooki should take the title home two years in a row. The title of Drama Queen delusional liar. Hey, we're only human.
andddddddddddd Ryder is a loose goose and The Unit is irrelevant.
FULL EPISODE
